I wrote the following in my notebook while lying in a sedation room after the dentist gave me a whole bunch of roofies. As such, I remember very little of this experience.
You can read a background on how I came to be in this situation here.
It’s been 30 minutes since I took the drugs. I’m very aware of their symptoms… I think. I definitely feel sleepy. The person sat next to me here in the sedation room has been here much longer than I have and isn’t yet ‘outofit’ so they’ve just given him some more drugs… I wonder if I were to ask for more drugs if they would give them to me, or would they just laugh at me and say “He’s ready”, before taking me through to surgery.
I’m getting concerned by how rapidly my handwriting is deteriorating.
.
.
.I think the person beside me is now asleep after his double dose. There’s still some pills beside him. Maybe I should eat them. He might be saving them. I’m gonna eat them. Nah, I’ve chickened out, I’m not gonna eat them.
.
.
.I’m going to ask the nurse for more drugs.
.
.
.She’s given me two more of the little ones. They don’t like it when you walk around their offices on drugs, which is fair enough I guess, but it’s not like I’m dangerous. In fact, I would describe myself as happy, harmless and completely predictable. Maybe they just feel responsible for me seeing as how it was them who gave me the drugs and everything. I’m gonna go ahead and believe this, despite the massive waiver form I’ve signed but not read.
.
.
.Wow, I hope this is working. I wish I could be aware of the exact moment that I stop being in control. I’d like to know what music will be playing then. Sade maybe? It’s possible given the playlist so far.
I’m going to be honest, I am very relaxed now. There is a very pleasant heaviness pressing on my entire body. There’s also a very gentle vibrating sensation that I’m fairly sure is entirely in my head, but it might not be. It feels nice anyway.
Norah Jones is playing. I’m going to close my eyes now.
.
.
.Norah has stopped. I might have blacked out a little just then. I think the silence woke me up. Is that possible? Can silence wake you up? I’m on drugs, I shouldn’t be so acutely aware of my environment, surely. I better be ‘outofit’ when they take me through. They’re going to laser my gums.
Dentistry… what the hell happened to you, man? Drills were all you had and you’ve just turned your back on them like they don’t even matter. I like writing in books… and lying down… and I think I like taking drugs. I’m definitely beginning to drift off. My vision is kind of yellowy. Cloudy. Like there’s a fine film over my eyes. I have a lot of ideas going through my head, but I can’t write them all down, they’re too fleeting and disparate. disperate. dispirit. shit.
I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
.
.
.I don’t know what song this is… maybe Erika Badu. It’s pretty funky, that’s for sure. I hope I’m not allergic to lasers. I’m giggling to myself. The guy beside me is snoring. I’m gonna eat his drugs. Aaaah I chickened out again.
Don’t forget to brush.
Hilarious.